The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
I think what most of us desire on the deepest level is connection. I am all for love and tend to be a romantic at heart, but connection is something far beyond love.
Out of an entire ocean of people it is nothing short of miraculous to find that one person, (or select few if you are really lucky), that you connect with on every level. Emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and physically. It is extremely rare indeed.
I have gathered stories over the years through my travels and experiences of those who have found such a deep connection.
I am an observer and when one stumbles upon the beauty of such a connection it is easy to recognize. When they are together they radiate pure love.
I was pondering this morning how that must feel, to live out your life with a partner you share such a depth of connection with.
I am a bit unusual in that I tend to enjoy my solitude. I am not one who needs a relationship per se, because as i have experienced being with a person who I don’t connect with entirely only brings discontent and a deeper loneliness than if i were on my own. I think many choose partners who will fit into their world, who will meet their needs or fill some sort of void, or fill that place of lonliness and discontent.
I will admit that facing the world solo, and carrying the weight of everyday struggles can be overwhelming and lonely at times, but being with the wrong person only adds to that heaviness.
Two autonomous souls who each have their own unique passions, their own interests, who are comfortable within themselves seek those who add another layer of beauty, love and life to their already rich existence.Although already complete on an individual level, this sense of greater, deeper completion is birthed.
There is a certain alchemy here of two individual substances, merged, creating a third , combined substance, profound love that becomes an elixir to offer healing to the world through osmosis in a very natural, organic way.
Yet, every couple I have spoken to that shares such a connection, an alchemical union has also described this alchemical process as one of the greatest challenges both have faced. From an alchemical perspective this process involves 7 stages, each with varying degrees of intensity. The process below was taken from various sources online, mostly from. http://www.esotericonline.net
First Stage – Calcination
This is the destruction of ego and our attachments to material possessions. Calcination is usually a natural humbling process as we are gradually assaulted and overcome by the trials and tribulations of life, though it can be a deliberate surrender of our inherent hubris gained through a variety of spiritual disciplines that ignite the fire of introspection and self-evaluation.
Physiologically, the Fire of Calcination can be experienced as the metabolic discipline or aerobic activity that tunes the body, burning off excesses from overindulgence and producing a lean, mean, fighting machine. Calcination begins in the Base or Lead Chakra at the sacral cup at the base of the spine.
Second Stage – Dissolution
Psychologically, this represents a further breaking down of the artificial structures of the psyche by total immersion in the unconscious, non-rational, feminine or rejected part of our minds. It is, for the most part, an unconscious process in which our conscious minds let go of control to allow the surfacing of buried material. It is opening the floodgates and generating new energy from the waters held back. Dissolution can be experienced as “flow,” the bliss of being well-used and actively engaged in creative acts without traditional prejudices, personal hang-ups, or established hierarchy getting in the way.
Physiologically, Dissolution is the continuance of the opening-up of energy channels in the body to recharge and elevate every single cell. Dissolution takes place in the Genital or Tin Chakra and involves the lungs and spleen.
Third Stage – Separation
Psychologically, this process is the rediscovery of our essence and the reclaiming of dream and visionary “gold” previously rejected by the masculine, rational part of our minds. It is, for the most part, a conscious process in which we review formerly hidden material and decide what to discard and what to reintegrate into our refined personality. Much of this shadowy material is things we are ashamed of or were taught to hide away by our parents, churches, and schooling. Separation is letting go of the self-inflicted restraints to our true nature, so we can shine through.
Physiologically, Separation is following and controlling the breath in the body as it works with the forces of Spirit and Soul to give birth to new energy and physical renewal. Separation begins in the Navel or Iron Chakra located at the level of the solar plexus.
Fourth Stage – Conjunction
Psychologically, it is empowerment of our true selves, the union of both the masculine and feminine sides of our personalities into a new belief system or an intuitive state of consciousness. The alchemists referred to it as the Lesser Stone, and after it is achieved, we discover union with the Over self. Often, synchronicities begin to occur that confirm the alchemist is on the right track.
Physiologically, Conjunction is using the body’s sexual energies for personal transformation. Conjunction takes place in the body at the level of the Heart or Copper Chakra.
Fifth Stage – Fermentation
Physiologically, Fermentation is the rousing of living energy (chi) in the body to heal and vivify. It is expressed as vibratory tones and spoken truths emerging from the Throat or Mercury Chakra.
Sixth Stage – Distillation
Psychologically, Distillation is the agitation and sublimation of psychic forces is necessary to ensure that no impurities from the inflated ego or deeply submerged id are incorporated into the next and final stage. Personal Distillation consists of a variety of introspective techniques that raise the content of the psyche to the highest level possible, free from sentimentality and emotions, cut off even from one’s personal identity. Distillation is the purification of the unborn Self ¾ all that we truly are and can be.
Physiologically, Distillation is raising the life force repeatedly from the lower regions in the cauldron of the body to the brain (what Oriental alchemists called the Circulation of the Light), where it eventually becomes a wondrous solidifying light full of power. Distillation is said to culminate in the Third, Eye area of the forehead, at the level of the pituitary and pineal glands, in the Brow or Silver Chakra.
Seventh Stage – Coagulation
Psychologically, Coagulation is first sensed as a new confidence that is beyond all things, though many experience it as a Second Body of golden coalesced light, a permanent vehicle of consciousness that embodies the highest aspirations and evolution of mind. Coagulation incarnates and releases the Ultima Materia of the soul, the Astral Body, which the alchemists also referred to it as the Greater or Philosopher’s Stone.
Physiologically, this stage is marked by the release of the Elixir in the blood that rejuvenates the body into a perfect vessel of health. A brain ambrosia is said to be released through the interaction of light from the phallic-shaped pineal gland and matter from the vulva of the pituitary. This heavenly food or viaticum both nourishes and energizes the cells without any waste products being produced. These physiological and psychological processes create the Second Body, a body of solid light that emerges through the Crown or Gold Chakra.
The alchemical process is not for the faint of heart, clearly. It is the phoenix rising from the ashes. It involves a total destruction of all that is artificial of all old thought patterns and beliefs. And this is why few truly achieve sacred union. It is easier to continue on with what offers comfort. Yet, comfort always has an underlying restless, unfufilled yearning attached to it.