An Honest Post about Depression and how Diet effects Mood (for me anyway)

As shared a few weeks ago (maybe a months now) I had oral surgery which I had been putting off for a very long time. It got to the point where antibiotics/pain meds were not even touching the pain. Two molars had to be extracted. I was however on antibiotics and vicodin for 2 weeks in an attempt to alleviate the pain. During that time I lived off of smoothies. I remained on pain meds and a different antibiotic for 10 days following my surgery.

Unfortunately the change in my diet really threw me off balance. The natural sugar from the smoothies, occasional ice cream and pudding.

Clearly I was unprepared. I began craving sugar and carbs again and have been off plan for a while now.

The worst part was how my depression and anxiety returned full on.

Both depression and anxiety will creep up on you and before you know it you find yourself spiraling down at the speed of light.

When I get in this place I shut just about everyone out and go into hiding, focusing all of my energy on caring for my son, I have little else to give beyond that.

I will be starting a 10 day cleanse/detox today that consists of fruit and green vegetable smoothies. And I also started taking two specific nootropic supplements; Genius Joy, and Genius Consciousness. Both are supposed to help tremendously with mood and receive excellent reviews. I am on day three and do feel as if the fog has lifted a bit. Oh, did I mention that I also struggle with ADD? Yep, i spent 5 years on Adderall to help treat it, but stopped a year ago, as the 30 mg. I was prescribed no longer worked and I found myself experiencing many awful side effects, including an increase in my blood pressure.

Mostly I am posting because depression can be such an isolating and debilitating illness. It is as if there is a voice in your head reminding you of all of your failures, insecurities and flaws that never shuts up! Anxiety on the other hand points out all the potential problens and disasters that ‘may’ present themselves in the future.

One thing I know with absolute certainty is that diet affects my mood, and when I consume sugar, and too many carbs I start spiraling downwards.

My chronic sinusitis has flared up big time, while it was under control for 6 months, especially when I cut sugar, wheat and dairy out of my diet and kept my carb intake to under 20.

So, this is me at bottom. A reminder that I alone am responsible for my health and well being. I am free to make whatever choices I want, but there will be consequences for those choices.

So…the cleanse begins today, and hopefully by next Saturday’s post I will be back to feeling happy, healthy and energized. Until then, keeping it real as always.

Weekly healing update

3 months, 3 weeks in and I’ve hit a 20 pound weight loss!

Let me begin by saying that I follow a whole food, healthy fat based pseudo keto diet. I originally started this way of eating to help ease joint pain and inflammation in my body, and to take control of my adhd symtoms and thyroid, not to lose weight. The weight loss has been an added bonus.

I am not in the camp that eats large amounts of cheese (I rarely eat dairy) unlimited amounts of bacon, pork rinds and the like. As with any diet, it must be sustainable to me long term.

Let me share with you what a day in my keto life looks like.

Breakfast- I drink a bulletproof coffee every morning.

*****

12 oz fresh brewed organic coffee

1tbs organic cocoa butter

1tbs MCT oil

1 scoop collagen peptides

Stevia

****

Sometimes I’ll have a few eggs and bacon, a bowl of grain free porridge made with flaxseed, hemp seed and chia seed with almond meal or a grain free, flaxseed muffin dipped in virgin coconut oil and pink salt. But usually just the coffee until lunch.

For lunch I’ll usually have coconut encrusted oven fried chicken, sliced and served over a bed of fresh spinach with homemade ranch dressing. I make my own mayo using avocado oil every week and from that create various high fat dressings to pour on my salads. Or I’ll throw a plate together made up of leftovers from the week, like this one.

Leftover roasted chicken slices and natural dry Italian salami with
homemade avocado and MCT oil Mayo for dipping, and some yummy mixed olives and grape tomato from the deli.

For dinner I might have a few slices of pot roast which I make early in the week, and some oven roasted broccoli which has been drizzled with extra virgin olive oil. I may include a half an avocado or a tbls of dipping mayo for added fat.

I tend to keep my meals simple and consistant.

I sip a homemade electrolyte drink and water throughout the day made with 2 lemons 42 oz water, a few twists of sea salt and stevia to taste, or a I sip on stevia sweet tea with a few this Apple cider vinegar. No diet soft drinks or other diet drinks that contain artificial sweeteners.

For snacks I will eat pork rinds dipped in mayo, mug cakes made with organic cacao powder, nuts, a few slices of sugar free dried Italian sausage or pepperoni without nitrates.

So far my bp has been high normal but still dropping, my labs are perfect, glucose stable and full of energy and mental clarity.

Physical: I am at the 20 pound mark!

I’ve had a few dental issues this week so have not had as much energy as usual. But the mental clarity is there and the weight coming off.

Emotional:

I feel extremely balanced emotionally. I am realizing now had sugar affected my moods and how carbs zapped me of energy. This week I recognized something huge… We cannot seek in another person that which we never received from those closest to us growing up. And the thing is we must grieve the loss of that which we never received. I am learning in an even deeper way how to meet my own emotional needs.

Spiritual:

I am learning to flow with life as opposed to fighting my way through every perceived obstacle, it’s just smoother. I am learning on a deeper level that each of us have the ability to create that which we desire in life it’s all a matter of aligning ourselves with the truth of who we are and what we are capable of. Many of us have been victimized throughout our lives bit we get to choose whether to remain victims or not.

Until next week, much love ❤

ADHD Challenges and how to….Hey look, a Squirrel!

Growing up I was labeled a dreamer early on. I vascilated between being easily distracted and went off into my own little world, and hyper focused, which made it difficult for me to switch gears and move from one task to another.
I felt frustrated constantly, but had a difficult time expressing this to my parents and teachers.
I wasn’t hyper, i was actually a shy, introverted child. I was labeled a dreamer. My adhd is more the inattentive type.

I was tested somewhere around fourth or fifth grade and was identified as highly gifted. This label actually became more of a curse. ADHD was not yet identified. Being gifted, my teachers and parents placed higher expectations on me. And then the dreaded ‘she’s not living up to her potential’ speech during parent teacher meetings.
I’ve always loved to write, but I found it difficult because I’d hyper focus on punctuation and grammar and lose my train of thought. Now when I write, I have to just let it flow and find myself going back over my writing at least a half a dozen times to edit, even if it’s a simple Facebook post or blog post. This sucks up way too much of my time unfortunately.

And the dreaded rabbit trails, ugh. I work at my computer during the day and become easily distracted following links, interesting conversations etc. before I know it hours have gone by and I’ve not reached my daily goals.

I took a short break from the internet almost the entire day Friday, and spent my time meditating, being still and seeking clarity and direction. I received some great insight Friday night and am working to put my plan into action.

ADHD is maddening. People often joke about it and make light of it, but imagine going about your day, your brain blasting 20 different radio stations at once. Add to this the numerous tasks thrown in that must be accomplished for your livelihood. When this all becomes mentally overwhelming, we simply shut down and often become depressed, beat ourselves up and go into our caves. The biggest frustration for me, being an infj is the whole perfectionism thing. I can’t just accomplish something and be ok with it, it must be perfect, if I can’t do it perfectly I become frustrated and beat myself up, so I procrastinate.

I’ve identified adhd as my biggest obstacle in reaching my goals, so this is where my plan begins.

I’ve downloaded two apps. One that tracks my time online and another that will help manage my time throughout the day, breaking large tasks down into smaller, more manageable chunks. Although this feels somewhat overwhelming right now, I know in the long run it will help me accomplish my goals. Some of the benefits of living with adhd are stubbornness and hyper focus. I’ll attempt to re-direct this energy into the tasks at hand. I’ll also commit to taking my full dose of medication daily as opposed to only taking half in the morning (Trying to save money).

This is step one for me. Next step comes after a solid week of sticking with this initial plan.

I would like to highly recommend a wonderful book by Stacey Turis called: Here’s to Not Catching Our Hair on Fire: An Absent-Minded Tale of Life with Giftedness and Attention Deficit – Oh Look! A Chicken!
You can find it here