Giving and Receiving

The past few weeks i have learned some very valuable, yet painful lessons.

I have learned, at least for me personally that it is a huge challenge for me to learn how to receive love and support.

I was faced with a situation last week where i had no choice but to reach out for help. I had no idea just how difficult that was for me until i was faced with a situation where i had to.

As i reached out i found i was overcome with guilt and feeling needy, dramatic and, well…a major burden.

I tried on my own to deal with this issue for a long while and realized if I did not ask for help i would be in serious trouble.

I also realized how i set myself up for years for others to just take from me and give little in return.

As, i recovered from this situation i found myself in, i was bombarded with phone calls and texts from others asking for help, for favors for support. I had little to give.

Two people actually showed up for me. One through a phone call, and the other through a visit.

But the deeper realization was that i put this dynamic into play by giving only and unwilling to receive. It became a comfortable pattern for others, knowing that its just how i am.

Well, i worked through the guilt i felt in receiving and am slowly trusting this process. Sometimes it takes us being knocked flat on our ass to teach us that we are worthy of receiving the same love and support we are constantly pouring into others.

I found myself irritated and angry and then came across this quote.

Ouch! It sure did lead me to a deeper understanding and brought home on an even deeper level the importance of boundaries and learning to honor and love ourselvws enough to say no to things that are not healthy for us.

Relationship, any relationship be it friends, family, lovers etc must operate from a place of equal give and receive. While there are seasons where we may have to give a little more, there all also moments where we must be open to receive. 

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