Those of us who consider ourselves highly sensitive and empathic have learned over the years to simply answer the dreaded “How are you” question with “I am fine, thanks” and a smile. It’s just easier that way. As infj’s we tend to protect ourselves from others and few are granted access into our emotionally complex inner worlds. It’s as if we have been conditioned over the years to associate our complex emotional states with shame and in sharing with most people the shame of feeling as if we are ‘too intense’ for most people.
So, what do we do? We pour ourselves into the lives of others and give, yet often when it comes to our own suffering, we suffer alone, in silence, it’s just simpler that way.
I can count on one hand the number of people that I can be completely vulnerable with….ok, maybe 2 or 3 fingers.
I have learned over the years how to self soothe and care for my own complex emotional needs. You see most of us who feel deeply are not looking for anyone to rescue
us, give us answers or pity us, we simply desire connection and understanding on at least some level, both which are extremely rare.
I have no solution for this dilema i’m afraid, but i suppose this post might help a few who share the same struggle in not feeling like such an enigma.