Ugh, where to begin? I have heard it my entire life. “I just can’t figure you out”. Welcome to infj ism. As infj’s we know better than anyone that we are different. We crave raw honesty and trust within relationships, be it friendship, romantic, family. We just can’t do fake and or superficial. Sounds simple enough, right? Not so fast. The problem lies in the fact that most people are afraid to show their darker side, their flaws so they wear masks to protect themselves from being seen. The thing is darkness doesn’t scare us, it’s the hiding of those darker aspects of oneself that doesn’t sit right with us. So many of us choose to remail single and celibate because we can’t simply go through the motions and pretend that all is well when we know intuitively that something is off. The relationships we crave are based on raw honesty, vulnerability and trust, and there are few who can actually go there. So we choose a life of singledom and deal with moments of deep lonliness and isolation.
We write, paint, draw and create to express ourselves and our complex emotions and this fills a void for us, helping us to better understand ourselves. The more we’ve been hurt it seems the more closed off we become..
Truth is, you won’t ever figure us out, hell we can’t even figure us out! What we really desire is acceptence and understanding. Once we let you in completely you can be sure you will hold a space in our hearts for life.
I have been struggling the past few days, feeling as if i don’t fit or belong. There’s this great paradox…I want to be alone in my own little world free of disappointment and heartache, yet at the same time i crave deep connection with others.
Yeah, good times. Today i shall write and we will see how things unfold.