The number one block that prevents us from healing our deepest wounds is not allowing ourselves to fully feel pain and grief.
Instead, we chooses the easier emotions like anger or we suppress our emotions altogether by keeping busy or turning to cheap fixes.
I realize now that I have suppressed my grief and sadness for most of my life.
This began shortly after I lost my mother to cancer when I was 12. It wasn’t until I was in my forties that I began allowing myself to fully grieve.
The thing about grief is that it is not a linear process, and you can’t put a timeline on.it, you just have to walk it out however long it takes.
This healing journey is not for the faint of heart by any means. At times it feels as if there are so many layers that the grief will never end, but one thing I’m recognizing is that after another layer is dealt with and healed there comes a deeper level of freedom and joy. I suppose that’s what fuels me to continue in a deep desire for freedom and joy.
To those who wittness this process from the outside it appears that just the opposite is taking place, as if the person doing the tough healing work is stuck and choosing to live in the past, that’s because we have been so conditioned to conceal our wounds and wear masks as a form of survival, stuff those uncomfortable feelings and hide our wounds from others.
We all need a safe place to heal, free of judgement, free of well meaning advice and free of criticism.
After experiencing this deep level grief, I want to be that safe place for others.
We can’t fix others or expect others to fix us, but we can offer others a safe haven to be their authentic, true vulnerable selves scars and all.