December 1st marked yet another pivotal moment on this journey, my journey home.I was given a very vivid, beautiful dream at 3am, when I awoke I experienced an immediate paradigm shift, one I’d been praying for for a very long time. The dream involved two horses, a choice, and warm, cozy barn and a Native American horse whisperer. When it feels right, I’ll share the dream in its entirety, but for now I rest in the beauty of what lies ahead.
I’ve tried to explain this inner process that has taken place over the past 3-4 years to others, yet finally realized this has been my journey and mine alone. That’s the purpose of this journey into the dark night. It’s a stripping away of all previous beliefs, mind sets and false security.
Others may look at our lives through this cleansing process and see only what they have the ability to see based on their own limited understanding. I can’t judge anyone for that. We are assessed according to a standard that is based on perceived success according to cultural standards. My journey has been about finding my way back home to my true self, free of limiting beliefs. The inner work that has taken place within cannot be measured according to any standard, it’s unique to me alone. The wisdom and insight gained along the way priceless. The more I tried to resist this process the more exhausting it became. And then, when I did in fact reach that point of exhaustion I no longer had the strength to hold on, I let go. And then the magic transpired.
For those who are walking this path now, this journey into the dark night, I commend you, it is not for the faint of heart, and if I’d known the pain involved I might never have chosen this path. Yet I am home at last, and although weary and recovering I have a peace inside like I’ve never known before. I am complete, I am whole.
And now, the next leg begins. A new start, a new journey. With compass in hand, I eagerly await the adventures that lie ahead.